I have a confession to make.
I am obsessed with Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series, absolutely obsessed. I try to blame my niece Larissa (hi Larissa :) ) because honestly if she hadn't mentioned how much she loved it to Joseph and I, then Joseph in a state of desperation for a good book, never would have picked it up, and then brought it home. In our house you know its a pretty darn good book if it actually makes it to the house. We have a tendency to be cheap and read most of "our" book at Barnes and Nobles, because we read so darn fast and those chairs are just so welcoming. Anyways, so Joseph brought home Twilight, then New Moon, Eclipse and because I loved the books so darn much Joseph, Larissa and I even went to the midnight release of Breaking Dawn. Because its slightly embarrassing I will not tell you how many times I have read each book, but lets just say its a little more then 3 times. Each. Sigh. Since Joseph left I have not picked up any of the books, its just too hard reading a great love story when your love story is 600 miles away. I love, love stories, mainly because they remind me of my own story, both with God and Joseph.
Sometimes I think we forget that our own love stories are just as great as those in books and movies because they are our stories. I think of all the moments Joseph and I have spent together, all the special things he has done to show me he loves me, how he daily sweeps me off my feet. That's why I love Twilight, because in Bella and Edwards love story I can see the rawness, passion and reality of my own. It makes me remember all the moments that I have had butterflies in my stomach and it definitely makes me ache to have him back home again. So for now I am going to go curl up with Eclipse and remember all my moments with Joseph.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I have a confession to make.
Posted by Mama Blue at 7:19 PM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We had a nice subdued day here with my mom, who arrived in town to the rescue on Tuesday evening. It has been such a blessing to have her hear because I was running out of steam and need all the help I can get. Speaking of steam, I am losing it by the gallon at the moment, so I am going to leave you all with some pictures of the boys from today.
Everybody needs laundry basket drums
He was so smiley today! Finally no fevers (hmm, I think I forgot to mention he was sick also...)
"Hey Conner, will you give Brooksie a hug?" hmmm, ok I guess that counts as a hug
Yum! Applesauce and oatmeal
Those are trumpets every one, trumpets
Posted by Mama Blue at 5:27 PM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Good evening everyone. This post is going to be short and sweet. For the past four weeks I have had this terrible cough that kept coming and going, and I being who I am chose to ride it out. That is until today. Last night I started getting really nausea's, had the chills and was obviously running a fever, but silly me just thought it was a REALLY bad cold...ok ok I'm stubborn and kept telling myself that I cannot afford to be sick, I mean really I have two children to take care of. All the time. But I was a good girl and went to the doctor today, and came home with a diagnoses of walking pneumonia and really bad asthma, probably brought on by the whole fact that I have been sick for 4 weeks. I am now on antibiotics and have to go get a steroid kit for my lungs in 48hrs. I have also been fully chastised by all mothers involved :) And just so you know that I know the severity of my situation I was informed that if I had shown up yesterday that she would have sent me directly to the hospital. The only reason she didn't today is that after receiving a breathing treatment my oxygen levels went from 95% (bad) to 98% (better).
Please keep my family in prayers as I begin the road to recovery. I am exhausted and my children are not :)
Just because he makes my night brighter
Posted by Mama Blue at 7:00 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
It can be really hard sometimes to start a post, especially when it is a hard subject for me to talk about. I mean do I just come out and say it or do I get all eloquent and make it perfect ? Well tonight I am going with just coming out and saying it because my heart is heavy and my head is drained, and well you know what they say about bandaids.
I found out earlier this evening that one of my best friends during High School passed away. In August. While I hold no grudge about the fact that I was just informed, it hurts to know that he has been gone for two and a half months and I had no idea. And that I was actually in CA, a couple miles away when his funeral was held. I know that ultimately it doesn't make a difference if I was there or not, but he was there for me through so much heart ache and pain. He knew me before Joseph, before kids and before I became a Christian. He knew me in a very raw form and I him. Before I had Christ I had Mike. So I sit here mourning him, mourning that rawness we had and mourning his loss to this world.
I ache for his wife and the pain she must be going through. They had just gotten married in April and where trying to have a baby. It definitely puts into perspective the ache I have for Joseph right now.
I wish I had something beautiful to say right now, but all I can think is "he's gone" and that in true fashion the last conversation we had was a not full of love and understanding.
So instead of something beautiful I will say "goodbye dear friend, goodbye".
Let me introduce you all to my good friend Mike App.
Posted by Mama Blue at 6:45 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Good morning Brooksie!
Conner's friend Oliver came over to play. They were having a blast taking all the toys out of the toy box
And then getting into into it. You should have heard the giggles, they would have made a passel of teenage girls proud!
And then to finish this whole adventure off, an awesome picture Conner took of Oliver. I didn't even know it existed until I uploaded the pictures.
Posted by Mama Blue at 11:25 AM
"Quick! He's holding still, snap the picture!"
Getting ready to make his airplane fly
Now we move on to today. The day started with an early bath because someone has something disgusting and stinky waiting for me this morning.
And the only way to cure that was to throw him in...not that he minded much.
Until it was time to get out that is.
You probably already figure this out, but time for part 5!
Posted by Mama Blue at 11:13 AM
Later that evening we decided to cuddle up in mama's bed. I think I caught Conner mid flip, but Brooks is chill as usual. I mean, with an older brother with as much energy as Conner, who needs to move when all you have to do is watch him to get tired?
"Are you taking the picture mama?" "Yes I am Conner, now will you please hold still?"
"Ok, but only for a second"... notice Brooks has barely moved...
"Now don't Malachi's boots look smashing on me?"
Taking a picture of this child is exhausting, he moves so much and would rather take the picture then be in it, so most come out like this...almost perfect but a little blurry, or no Conner in the picture at all...
Now to part 4... I promised you lots of pictures :)
Posted by Mama Blue at 11:00 AM
The next morning Brooks decides to show off what he should look like when he is crawling...but alas he is just faking us all out because he is still a pro at the army crawl
Then Conner steals the camera and takes a picture of Aunt Rebekah, which I am sure she will be thrilled to find out I posted, but I think that she is beautiful
"Mama?!"...I get this call at least once a day from Brooks room, since his crib is Conner's favorite place to hangout, along with all his toys.
Which he then insists that Brooks needs to come in and play with him. Brooks is still not so sure about this, since you know, cribs are for sleeping...
But then he hams it up for mama even though his brother is being a tornado in the crib as I snap the picture (exampled by the bumper being all wacky)
Now for part three!
Posted by Mama Blue at 10:49 AM
I believe that it is way past time for me to share some pictures with you. So I thought I would do a day in the life sort of thing, since I keep getting asked how I am "doing it" all right now, you know with being alone and all. Well the plain answer is I just am, but the answer in pictures is much more poetic and meaningful, for I am "doing it" because God has given me grace and because He has given me these boys... who wouldn't do it for them?
Every Saturday Joseph's parents take us out to lunch or dinner, and the only thing that keeps Brooks from trying to eat all of our dinners (which he is not allowed to do) is these teething biscuits. Which are extremely messy.
So then we go home and take a bath, and eat some fresh water sushi, because I am sure you all can tell that that purple thing in Brooks hand is a fish...
Then we goof around and laugh a lot, which isn't hard when you have Conner as your resident goof ball
Sushi and alphabet soup? Awesome mom!
Now its time to scroll up to part two since blogger only lets me upload 5 pictures per post and I have a few more then 5 to share.
Posted by Mama Blue at 10:32 AM
Monday, November 17, 2008
I apologize for not giving any updates over the past 5 days, but to be honest, I have just not had it in me. Overall everything is doing fine and dandy in the Sutherland world, but its been a hard few days, Days that have made me want to crawl under my covers and stay there, but alas there are two handsome little boys who don't think that's as good an idea as I do. So instead I have been chugging along and trusting in God's provisions, and let me tell you, He has provided. Sometimes its small things, like a friend dropping off some Clementines because she was thinking of me, or other times its large things, like two phone calls from Joseph in a 4 day period, with one of them being a whopping 58 minutes and 7 seconds long. And yes, I counted every second. He has also provided me with endurance because as long as I rely on Him, I have all the endurance I need. I'm still working on the relying on Him part though.
Joseph is doing great. He says he is working hard and falling into a routine, which has been both good and bad. Now that things have slowed down he has more time to think, and time to think means he has time to remember some of the things he is missing. While he is gone Brooks is learning to crawl and Conner is beginning to talk in small sentences, and I am growing too. I am becoming more confident in myself, trusting that I have the knowledge and capability to run my household while my husband is gone. Even to run it when he is home, which for me is a big deal. I mean I have always taken care of my children, and Joseph too, but now I am trusting myself with more then just them. Its been a painful process, but God provides.
Ok, back to Joseph. He is officially schedualed to graduate on Chrstmas Eve! It is so wonderful to finally have a date to set my eyes on, something to count down to. But with it comes the reality that I am moving in 7 weeks. While I am excited, I am also sad. I love it here, which if you told me 5 years ago that I would say that, I would probably have called you crazy. But I do. There are so many wonderful people that I am going to miss, and right now its hard to not dwell in that. So all you wonderful people out there, know that I love you and that I a trying really hard to not miss you already.
I need to stop blogging at midnight. One because I am never sure if what I am writing actually flows, and two, because I am to tired to upload pictures. So you are going to have to trust that my children are still as adorable as ever and that I will make my busy self post something earlier so that you all can ogle at them.
Congratulations Tim and Sarah on the birth of your beautiful Eliza! The Sutherland clan cannot wait to meet her :)
Posted by Mama Blue at 8:36 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wednesdays are a good day in the Sutherland household. At 10:00 in the morning I get to run out in the freezing cold to my mailbox and pull out my beloveds letter. I love getting a letter from Joseph, what I don't love on the other hand is finding out that those in charge of his division have decided to do a "special" graduation for them on...Christmas Eve. Because you know, its easy to get to Chicago, in the snow, on Christmas Eve. Are they planing on getting all 84 men in his division plane tickets for that night also? I am trying to be excited that we finally have a date (although its not set in stone yet), but I was really praying for the 19th to be the day. I mean it is just so much more convenient, and earlier, and I like both of those things.
Otherwise he is doing alright. Every other night he has to get up in the middle of the night and shovel snow for an two hours, so if you happen to be up in the middle of the night ( or have a late evening if you are in CA) then please throw up some warmth and patience prayers for him. Apparently they really like to do things in the night there, as he also has a two hour watch he has to do and gets woken up to iron uniforms for thirty minutes in a rotating schedule along with the snow shoveling, then he is up at 5:30am.
He says the hardest part is the IT (intensive training) they do when someone is being "stupid". This is where you are made to exercise until you can't breath, move your limbs or until someone passes out (although he claims that he thinks the guy faked it). Sounds like fun, huh? Although he has yet to be the one to bring this on, he is in a team environment and its an equal opportunity setup. He's says they are not quite there yet, so there is another area you could pray for him.
Only other news was about getting antibiotic shots by an air gun...I had to stop for a moment at that one. Each recruit has to walk up to this box, place there right are against it, shot, then left arm , shot...by an air gun. Oh and after that they were all treated to a "peanut butter" shot, you know, a shot full of antibiotics so thick that it feels like peanut butter going in. Poor guy couldn't sleep on his left side for 2 days.
In other news, Brooks has been running a fever all day. He spent most of the day sleeping, and the rest of it curled up in my arms. Poor guy.
Conner got to go out with our friend Brandon today for some guy time. Unfortunately it didn't get to last to long because it started to rain, but Conner had a blast. Thank you Brandon!
Alright folks, I am off to bed! Peace be with you all.
Posted by Mama Blue at 8:08 PM
Monday, November 10, 2008
I think Conner and I have had a break through on the whole dada is gone thing. First he is still convinced that his dad is currently in a baby (because you know Navy...baby), whenever I ask him where dada is he says with a quizzical look on his face "Dada in the baby?". So how do you explain the Navy and basic training to a two in a half year old? Well you take him to the postbox of course! See normally I drop Joseph's letters off when I am on my way to run an errand since I have to pass right past the postbox, while the boys wait in the car. Well on Saturday we were out for a walk with Rebekah, Malachi and Jonah, so we decided to head up to the postbox so that I could let Conner drop it in. When we got there I lifted him up and showed him how to pull on the door to make it open, then I gave him the letter to drop in. As the letter dropped we said a prayer for Joseph, sent our love and said goodbye. As we were walking away Conner kept turning around and yelling "Bye Dada!" to the postbox, with an "I love you" thrown in there once or twice. Now every time we pass the postbox Conner does the same thing with a big smile on his face. It has also gotten him to ask and talk about Joseph more. We now eat dinner with Joseph's picture next to Conner (he brought it over himself) and I believe I caught Conner trying to play catch with the same picture earlier... so apparently the postbox was just what he needed. Now if only I can convince him Joseph is NOT in a baby...
"Oh the NAVY mom, now I get it! Wait, whats the Navy?"
Posted by Mama Blue at 6:01 PM
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I do not have much to post today, but wanted to share some pictures I took of the boys at the park today.It was such a beautiful fall day, with yellow, orange and red leaves littering the floor as we played and walked. Conner was to distracted by the great outdoors to really be cooperative, but Brooks was a stellar model today. Enjoy!
Posted by Mama Blue at 5:12 PM
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
While today was a trying day with Conner, it was also an extremely happy day, because today I received a letter from my hubby! I knew there was a chance I would have one waiting in the mail today, but I did not want to get my hopes up, as it really stinks to open up that little metal box ad only have junk awaiting you. But today I had gold!
He is doing very good, busy, but good. He said from now on he will have four hours on Sunday for church and letter writing, so I can expect a letter from him every Wednesday. Wednesday may just become my new favorite day of the week, because any day that has Joseph in it is a great day. He also gave me his address so that if anyone wants to send him a letter or two you can, so if you would like to do that, send me an email and I will send you his address.
Well we both got a laugh out of this, and if you have ever been to our house you will probably know why, but Joseph got head of laundry duty for the 46 guys in his unit. Hmm, this may end up being useful for me, as our laundry only seems to get truly all folded when my mom is here...Joseph says God has been kind to him in this because it allows him to have some "free" time that he would not otherwise have.
Other then that he has been recruited to the choir team (bet you didn't know he could sing) and drill team and will be doing both for his graduation in December. Speaking of graduation, please be in prayer in regards to this as there is a rumor that they will be graduating on the 19th of December! That would be so incredible. I would be on cloud nine if we would be able to spend Christmas with Joseph, especially since it will be our last here in Kentucky. Also I am trying to work something out so that I can go up to Chicago to be there for his graduation and then be able to drive home with him. I am realizing more and more what a big deal they consider this to be and I would love to be able to share it with him.
Alright, well Conner is calling for me and we have a letter to mail and classes to attend!
Posted by Mama Blue at 2:01 PM
Monday, November 3, 2008
Well another day has come and gone and we still have not heard from Joseph. I am going to to be calling his recruiter tomorrow to get his mailing address, as I have not received it yet. It will be nice to be able to write him because right now I feel as if I am leaving him in the dark, and I would like to keep one of us out of it!
It was a pretty good day today, a little more laid back then it has been the past four days, so that was nice. My friend Bek came over with her snap press (an awesome awesome thing) and helped me convert my cloth diapers from aplix (really strong velcro), to snaps. I am so excited about this for so many reasons that its quite silly actually. The snaps make the diapers have a cleaner appearance when on, and I don't mean physically clean, because they are already that without the snaps ;), but just sleek. And well I like sleek diapers, and my boys totally rock the snaps. I will have to take pictures in a couple days because it will take me that long to snap them all.
After nap time we wandered up to a little park that's up the block since it was such a beautiful day. While Conner played I got the opportunity to chat with my dear friend Amy while I pushed Brooks around. We were all fully enjoying ourselves until I realized that there was something that looked a lot like human feces next to the fallen trees Conner was playing in. Unfortunately Conner took that moment to decide to pick up the napkins that were laying beside it, so after some major hand sanitizing we promptly packed up and headed home.
Brandon and Bethan came over in the evening to cook us so delicious beef fajitas. I think Conner was over the moon because shortly after they arrived Papa showed up also. And if you know Conner you know he loves his Papa. So not only did we have great food, but we had great company also. Thank you B and B!
Well I am running out of steam, so I will leave you with some fun photos from today!
Oh and I am so proud of my second born. He is officially doing the army crawl and last night I walked in to him doing this!
He sat up all by himself! Yay Brooksie!
Posted by Mama Blue at 5:47 PM
Sunday, November 2, 2008
My Camera that is. I had this great post all planed out that was going to include a bunch of new and exciting photos. Only problem is that I have over 1200 photos on my camera that need to be deleted before I can download the new ones. I have spent the past couple days going through each picture one by one and erasing them, because unless I go to the store I cannot erase them all at once, as I have no desire to reload ALL 1200 photos onto my computer. For the third time. I mean a girl can only be so patient. So there I sit getting all exited because I am THIS close to being finished when my camera gets all dramatic on me and sends this message across the screen "WARNING; BATTERY IS EXHAUSTED". What? Your exhausted? I mean common, exhausted? Silly camera, how can you be exhausted when all you do is take pictures of my children, I mean seriously, when was the last time you chased them around the house, fed them, played with them, put them to bed, got up with them in the middle of the night, and did all that other crazy mommy stuff that I love? yeah, I didn't think so. See I do do all that stuff, everyday, all day, and I don't even use such a silly word. I think someone at the Nikon factory was having a little to much fun when they came up with that one ;)
Unfortunately there is no update on Joseph. I just really wish there was, but I have still not heard from him and I am still waiting for a packet in the mail to arrive with his mailing address. I am praying that I hear from him really soon though, as a good dose of his voice would be really nice right about now.
We have had a pretty busy past four days starting with Community Group on Thursday and ending with my sweet friend Bekah's birthday today. I believe that everyday was filled with almost all of my favorite people, which means they were pretty crowded days as I have a lot of favorite people. Friday night my father in law came over and stayed with the boys while they slept (ok while Conner slept, Brooks decided he wanted to visit with Papa for the last half hour) and I got to go to a party. Oh it was so much fun getting to be around adults for three whole hours. Then Saturday I hosted a womens gathering, where my friend Lindsey taught us how to make whole wheat yeast rolls, which were wonderful.I hope that everyone had a great time, because even though I was emotionally drained, it sure served my soul to have them all over. We then had dinner with Mimi and Papa at one of my favorite restruants, Max and Ermas, followed by a little mama only time. After todays b-day bash we came home for some desperatly needed naps. Then what has become my favorite part of the weekend happended. Some alnone time with just me and the boys. We laughed, sang, took lots of pictures and just plain enjoyed each others compmany. I cannot wait to share the pictures with you, because I am sure you will be able to feel our joy and love for one another, and I hope you rejoice in it just as I did.
Here's to praying the battery gets a goodnights sleep!
Posted by Mama Blue at 6:00 PM