Gone

I have been putting off this post, but alas I can run away from it no longer. Joseph is gone. I am not sure when I will hear from him, so it feels very permanent at this moment. He was able to call me when he arrived in Chicago, but unfortunately the call was disconnected 2 minutes into it. It was incredibly unsatisfying. Quite disappointing actually. I had a moment where I just stared at the phone and did the very dramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, just like in the movies. Brooks looked at me like I was crazy. I was only glad that he was too young to understand that we just missed a golden opportunity to talk to dada. At least he doesn't have to hurt through it. So yes I had a mini pitty party, but I quickly recovered. I have two precious boys that remind me of their dada and a God who will and is leading me through this every step.

Conner is doing alright, I only get asked about once an hour where dada is. This is how the conversation usually goes.

C "Dada?"
M "Dada is away right now"
C "away?"
M " Yes Dada is in the Navy"
C "Ok, Dada in the baby"
M "Yes Conner, dada is in the navy"
He then silently says "baby"

Oh how I love him!
So far nights are the hardests for all of us, as Conner knows that typically Joseph is supposed to be home by then, so thats usually when it gets a little rough. Last night he stalled and stalled before going to bed. He kept pulling me close and rubbing my face and asking us to pray for Joseph. It was way to sweet and so hard when I had to tell him after what seemed like the 10th prayer that we were all done with our prayers for the night and had to go to bed. Man that boy can pout!

I will give more of an update later as I have friends walking up to the door as I type. Dinner time!