Monday, December 8, 2008

Anticipation

Joseph will be home in SIXTEEN days.

Because of that fact I have been taking a little hiatus from the blogging world, so I apologize for no updates, cute pictures or even just a little bit of my sweet self. Why is it that the coming home of my husband has caused me to temporarily abandon the blogging world? Is it because I have been swamped with housework? Nope, my awesome mother took care of that while she was here last week. Overwhelmed with two sick children? Naw, I had pneumonia, they have a cold, piece o' cake!

Its the anticipation. And the not trying to think of the anticipation.

So far the anticipation of only sixteen more days has been harder then the last forty two days. Its getting harder to talk and think about him because sixteen days is so close yet still so far away, so I know have this neat big Joseph self in my head. If I try to take too much off of it at once and I am not alone, it gives me a swift punch to the stomach. I am not a very publicly emotional person, so I much rather take my time, alone and in the privacy of my own home. But it goes against the grain to put him up on a shelf. Missing him is natural and expected, but when I think of him too much, life stops, well life outside the boys that is. That life thankfully never stops. So then the anticipation and the not trying to anticipate try to take over my days. Hence the no blogging, because for some strange reason that requires me to think of him. And thinking of him makes a post that should only take 20 minutes to write take about and hour and a half. "sigh"
Ok, all of that was really a long version of " I love and miss my husband so much it hurts", but I like long versions. I actually don't think I know how to tell a short version without saying the long version first.

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As I was writing I realized I had not posted about our temporary change of plans. For the time being Joseph had to change his specialty. In a year he will get to reapply and by that point the obstacles that where keeping him from his original specialty will have been cleared. We should be back on track unless we feel the new one is where God really intended for him to be all along. Instead of going straight to our original destination, we will be spending 4 months in a city in the Midwest (At least I believe it is considered the Midwest...). Because this is a public blog I do not want to share exact locations, but for the curious, cousin Nicole lived in this city not to many years ago.
Its up in the air exactly where we will be at the end of the four months, as choice of location for the next assignment is given out based on class rank. So if there are 30 people in the class there will be 30 assignments (some may be to the same location) and obviously some of those are going to be much better or preferable then other. Joseph's goal is to get either number one or two. I trust Joseph, being the crazy academic that he is, to do the best he can to make that goal, but more importantly I trust Him. Instead of feeling anxious, mad or even disappointed about these changes I find myself overjoyed by the fact that He is in control, that He knows my worries, my fears and my hopes and that I can anticipate and rest in the knowledge that He has us in the palm of His hand. And the palm of His hand is a pretty darned good place to be.

1 comments:

The Santos Family said...

awwwww... I can't imagine the excitement you have. I'm glad to hear it's fast approaching for you though!